Who Needs a Toenail Anyway?

Tis the season for random running problems.

First came the uh-oh, gotta find a bathroom STAT problem — next came the dreaded IT band pain (which, for the most part — I’ve been able to deal with on my short runs).  Now for the one which makes me really sad because I hate my feet anyway and pretty toenails are the only thing I have going for them.  Not anymore folks.

Yes, I’ve lost a toenail or two in the past, but that was way in the past … like 5 years ago.  I thought I was done with this traumatic experience.  So much so, that I told you I would take this problem over the “other running problem“.

Five years ago when my toenail came off — I was devastated.  I thought to myself, how is it ever going to grow back?  Will I be destined to have gnarly toenails? …well, I’m happy to report that those toenails grew back and have been happy on my toes ever since.  Until tonight, that is.

I look down at my feet while taking a shower and notice that I’m in need of another pedicure.  The pink is starting to flake off a bit and my toenails need to be cut.  It has been a good month now since I got this pedicure.

I squint my eyes in a suspicious manner and realize as I bend at the waist to touch my toes, that I’m totally inflexible. I want to inspect … what is going on down there?  …. what the heck?  Is my toenail bruised?   … I see the slightest black spot peeking out from underneath my pink polish on my right second toenail.  No way.  It can’t be.  I stretch as far as I can (probably way past my hamstring threshold) and touch it. I pull up slightly just to see if it’s secure  — seems secure.  Phew.  I finish my shower.

I get out and assess the situation a little more closely now — aka, foot up on the bathroom counter to get a better look-see.  Hmm.  Let’s get the clippers and give them a little trim why don’t we.  After all, I do have a ten miler tomorrow.  Not too short though — just a smidge.

Of course, I go right for the toe in question, because I can’t wait like that.  The suspense is killing me.  Is it REALLY still attached? Please oh please oh please ….

One little clip and the toenail starts to raise off the skin … it’s pure black and EWWWWy GROSS.

… DANG it all to heck-in-a-hand-basket-thing-a-ma-jiggy.

Seriously people, I only ran a 1/2 marathon … it wasn’t like I ran a full.  Although, now that I think about it, my toes were a little sore the next day …

… back to my non-fictional story, autobiography, but wish it was fiction and suddenly magic powers happen upon me and my toenail is restored sort of story.

The entire nail  … yes, the entire nail came off.  And, the bare toe is FUGLY! Not not FAT and UGLY … the other. booooo! hiss! wah!

I’d show you a picture (yes, I took one … but I’m sure I would have to have some sort of legal disclaimer as I could see someone fainting and then happyTRIgirl gets sued.  I could see it in the headlines now:

WOMAN faints from sight of FUGLY TOE with NO NAIL. Cracks her head and dies.

Be thankful I’m leaving you to your fictional imagination.

….Okay, so speaking of imagination … I imagined this was a cocktail tonight::

Protein shake in Martini glass

I’m actually on the wagon (starting today) … so I decided to put my dinner (protein shake) in a pretty martini glass!

Protein Shake recipe:

2 cups of Trader Joe’s Vanilla Almond Milk

2 ripe bananas

1/4 cup of peanut butter … (I might have added a titch more for good measure and licked the spatula too).

1 scoop of Bioplex Whey Isolate Chocolate Protein Powder

8 or so ice cubes

Mix it all up in my Vitamix ::  Pure delish!!!  And good for me too!!

…. speaking of things good for me …

I went to the gym today.  It was my first time back at an actual gym in a couple of years!  Yep – it’s true!

I rejoined Bellingham Athletic Club a week ago because they sent me baby crying postcard asking me to come back and they missed me.  Okay.  Done.  See how easy I am?

Seriously though … went to the gym while the daughter unit was at cheer practice and ran a solid four miles.  I then foam rolled the sh** (HECK) out of my IT band.  It (the IT band) can thank me tomorrow on my ten-mile run.

foam roll IT band

Okay okay … I know you’re probably thinking, this IS the LONGEST rambling happyTRIgirl has written.  And, only two pictures?! What is up with that?

OH – I dunno.  I was just feeling rather chatty tonight. 😉 xo

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12 thoughts on “Who Needs a Toenail Anyway?

  1. Is it gross that I was waiting to see the picture? Ha ha! I’ve never lost a toe nail so hope that it heals quickly! That smoothie sounds amazing! I dont have a gym but I am laughing that you got a post card asking you back. I guess they don’t miss me : ) I’d much rather be running 4 miles today but I think I will be stuck back in the house!

  2. I can’t wait to get a raise so i can afford to go back to the gym! I miss it so freaking much. RIP toenail. At least it’s not summer, so the only person who will be seeing your toes is you 🙂

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